Dig work? Iceland

I don't know why I'm surprised. Most people expect snow in Iceland. Having never really had to 'live' with snow before, there were some things I had to learn. Let's see what it takes to get to work here during winter.

Lesson 1: How to mentally prepare yourself to leave your apartment

First you have to want to leave the house. Then you have to get prepared to leave the house, which means donning a jersey, jacket, scarf, hat, gloves and waterproof pants if you can be arsed. Once you're ready to go you realise that it's probably not that simple.

Lesson 2: How to shovel snow so you can physically leave your apartment

More often that not you're going to have to break a sweat before you even get to your car. The task of shovelling snow is made particularly more difficult if you don't actually own a snow shovel. Note: although it seems like it might, a broom does not work.

Lesson 3: How to scrape just enough ice and snow off your windshield to see

Once you've finally made it to your vehicle (with wet pants if you forgot those waterproof overs) you've still got a couple of tasks to do. The car has to be started so it has a bit of time to warm up before you carve your way in to town. This is a good opportunity to call 'shotgun' and flip on the seat warmers which usually only work in the two front seats. Next you have to get out your scraper and brush (if someone hasn't already borrowed it for their car) and set to clearing a hole in the windscreen large enough for you to see out of but not so big that it takes you 20 minutes to get the job done. Once the car is de-iced and warmed up, and you are icy, wet and freezing it's time to go to work.

Lesson 4: How to drive on powder and recognise the road

Lesson 5: How to overcome obstacles when making a right turn

Driving in knee deep powder can get a little hairy, especially when the visibility is down to 5 metres. Despite the fear you better stick to the 90 km/hr speed limit because you're probably already running late. Just watch out for snow drifts across the road which could de-rail a train and any vehicles that may have gotten stuck on the road in front of you. Needless to say the demister should be dialed all the way up to 'shred mist' for the journey. Whingers and back seat drivers should be left at home.

Lesson 6: How to park your truck so as not to get stuck

If/when you actually make it to the office you can't just whip the car in any old way. I like to roll it in hard and fast to dislodge any snow occupying my spot, slam it in reverse and get outta there asap and then ease back in again. In doing so I not only have a bit of fun but also ensure that the snow beneath the tyres is a little compacted and therefore unlikely to ice up and swallow my car during the workday. Nothing sucks more than coming out of work and having to not only learn lessons 1-3 all over again but then to have to fart about trying to get your car rolling.

Lesson 7: How to hate work before you even get inside

So you're already half an hour late when you get out of the car to discover the office looking like this. Not only did you have to dig your way out of your own home, you now have to dig your way in to work. Thing is, by the time you've come this far, digging out one more door is a lot easier than turning around and going home. So tell me boss, if laziness has no place at work then why can't I be bothered to go home?